Ten simple rules for dating my son

I recommend getting married (the first time) at 30. Do not say, "Yeah......" Ma'am is not required but will earn you extra points. Mama bears are not to be trifle with lest we rip you from limb to limb. You haven't earned that right and if I see you doing it, you're likely to get a swift kick in the ass for your effort.10. But I can make it the worst event in the history of weddings if you piss me off.By then, both parties should have their heads out of their asses.4. That's right, Sunshine, I'll talk to everyone who ever knew you from the time your wore Huggies until now. Approach us with caution and respect and no one loses an arm.6. I'm not saying my sons need to date rocket scientists but if you know more about, "The Bachelor," "American Idol," and "Oprah," than you do current events, then we have a problem. I will audition you and make Simon Cowell look like Mary Poppins. Oh they don't need to be rich or snobs but if they have a single wide they're real proud of then I'm thinking you are out of your league. If you are lucky enough to snare my son into marrying you, I better have some input. Things like your dress order being cancelled or the cake getting dropped or the invitations not getting mailed...know, STUFF.Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants three sizes too small, and I will not object.However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your ass.

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Sal as the “guy” 10 simple rules for dating my son gayoon and doojoon dating for sal as the show.

Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.

If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

Therefore you will not be presented to me dressed like a pole dancer. If you don't know what those are, dress the opposite of Paris Hilton.2. If anything other than your ears are pierced, I had better not see it.

Oh and he'll listen otherwise he'll get cut out of the will. Trust me when I say that paying your dumb ass child support for 18 years is far better than him marrying you and supporting you forever.

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