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Whiteness has been a privileged and prized identity in the U. So when black men select white women and de-select black women, they are doing so in a context of charged racial meanings. Some of the people I admire and respect most in my professional life are black men married to white women and white women married to black men.

These relationships are caring and genuine, and surely bring happiness to the individuals involved in them.

It seems that "More than eight-in-ten Americans (83%) now agree that "it's all right for blacks and whites to date," reflecting the most dramatic change among the racial attitudes tested in Pew polls." It's interesting that this change doesn't merely reflect cohort replacement.

It's true that young people have more liberal attitudes about interracial dating, but old people's attitudes have also become more liberal over time.

Last holiday season gave me plenty of food for thought on this all too familiar and often uncomfortable racially-tinged question.

One of my male relatives brought home a date for Thanksgiving who could have been Barbie's twin sister.

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Despite the steamy scenes on ABC's hit show, (and yes, I am a fan), most single black women are not dating white men (and certainly not hunky white men who hold high government offices and are willing to risk all they have achieved for illicit love).

She was blonde, full figured, outgoing, and outspoken with a saucy southern accent and friendly, expressive manner.

Two of my younger male relatives have recently been engaged to white women, and one tied the knot last summer.

Certainly my reaction links back to a few bad apples in my own young dating years.

Once I overheard my black boyfriend telling his buddies how he preferred white women; on another occasion (with a different black boyfriend) a guy told me he didn't care that I was breaking up with him because he could go out and get a white woman, which was what he really wanted anyway.

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