God is a woman dating disasters
And if you are still single, next time you go on a bad date, try to see the comedic side of your experience.1. We talked for hours, and he asked to meet up the next week for dinner. He was 10 minutes late, without any message or apology. He told me he wanted to have children with the next girl he meets. Then he took me to a food court for dinner — and wanted me to pay for my own food. The guy who arrived was not the same guy shown in the online profile — or even the same one I had been talking to on the phone. One day he was wonderful, the next he was HORRIBLE. I said I wasn’t interested anymore, as he wasn’t even making an effort, so I left quickly. It's diff—they don't judge you and the judges don't face the singers.'Him: 'Should we turn around? I nodded along, asked questions, and told myself that maybe I would learn something interesting about Sam Walton..I could tell there was something off about this dude. 'Me: 'Umm.' (but before I could get a word in....)Him:'Okay let's do this: What's the capital of Albany? The end.""About 10 minutes into a blind date, the guy whipped out a book about Wal-Mart and started telling me that it changed his life, and that Sam Walton was his God. I was shocked into stoned silence and didn’t say or do anything, not even when my date started sobbing quietly in the cop car."At the precinct where I spent three hours of my life, my date was herded into a man’s holding cell with a few Rastafarians while I sat alone in the women’s cell. My date tried to impress me by arguing with the cops.
I went to see him after I got off work at midnight. One guy told me that getting my master’s degree was cute, but a waste of money considering that I would only end up at home popping out kids and never properly work. I wore a formal dress, and the guy came in shorts and a T-shirt!And everyone knows the real freaks congregate in NYC, meaning terrible one-on-ones are amplified in the most gruesome way, and often broadcasted across Facebook for all the world to recount. You had us laughing, crying, laughing again, and then almost vomiting. OMG, look behind you, I've been trying to figure out these people since I got here.' Me: 'Hmm, interesting group. In my mind, I was stoked for drinks with a hot, bearded, blue-eyed hipster from Long Island City, not someone with delusions about being a reincarnated American Civil War Yankee officer.But because we love sharing our deepest innermost feelings and desires with YOU, we've asked you, our Big Apple readers, to submit your worst (albeit best! To make sure you're not sweating the prospect of being single forever, we've narrowed down our favorites (or least favorites, depending on how you look at it) to eight tales so truly horrific, you'll be ready to swear off men forever (plus accompanying artwork from The Blake Wright). 'Me: 'I normally drink Champagne, but I heard the Mojitos are great here, so I will go with that.' Him:'I'm on my fourth cup of coffee.'Me: 'Oh, rough night last night? Yes, that’s right, he showed up in full Civil War garb complete with a pipe and a gruff, antiquated speech pattern. ' I didn’t really hear from him after that, except for a text telling me that he lost his i Pod on the field, to which I replied, 'bummer.'""I met him on Ok Cupid. He invited me to meet him for drinks and asked me for a bar suggestion. I then received an email a week later asking if I would be his mentor and how much he admired me, to which I quickly responded that all communication was to be cut off. ' To which he replied, 'I told her I was at my high-school basketball game' (!!! All I could do was laugh and tell him that we very quickly needed to part ways.